Letter to an EX: Goodbye _____

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2021.12.04 23:19 Significant-Quit5245 Letter to an EX: Goodbye _____

It feels so surreal, It’s finally December 4th. It’s almost been a year since our official breakup, and it’s the day we were supposed to meet up at Starbucks. I can’t say I didn’t entertain the thought of traveling to NYC and going to our agreed meeting; even if I knew you probably weren't going to show up. I really wish I could say I no longer love you. But, that’s just not true. It still really hurts when I think of the absolute chaos that happened. There have been many times that I’ve almost given in to my weak willpower and called you. I wish I could say I haven’t thought of you. But, you always end up appearing in my thoughts at least twice a week; especially his one. This has just been a horrible week for me. I haven’t been able to focus or do anything productive for that matter. I’ve just had thoughts of you at the back of my mind like an itch that I can’t get rid of. It’s been awful. I just keep wondering how you’ve been doing. Have you gotten a job yet? Are you in a relationship? How has your day-to-day been? Have you been doing well emotionally? I know it’s wrong to be asking these questions. But I’ve really missed the check-ins we’ve had. I really miss knowing how you are doing, and I miss telling you about my day. I miss having you cheer me on and support me, and I miss the feeling of happiness I got from supporting you. I really do. I’ve kept these emotions bottled up for months, hoping that you would call so I could hear from you. I miss hearing your voice, I truly miss what we had.
It’s to the point where I even forced myself to travel to a random Starbucks today, just to be there. Wondering if you were thinking of me from another Starbucks in NYC. I regret the way our last conversation ended. My pride really got in the way of me asking how you’ve been. And really connecting with you. There are days like today when I really regret not talking to you more and cutting that call short. I really miss you _____, I really really do. I keep trying to improve myself hoping to meet someone better so that I can get over you. But it’s been really really hard. I just can’t get you out of my head. I really miss the times we’ve had together. In fact today, I went over the photos that I had hidden of the old times. Sometimes, I just want to call you and just become friends again. Just to know how you’ve been. Just so I can maybe interact with you still. I really wonder if I still appear in your thoughts?
Well regardless, I guess I’m going to use this as a medium to tell you how I’ve been; hopefully for the last and final time. I finally got my 1st-degree blackbelt in Taekwondo a few months back. It’s been a crazy journey and I’m honestly more proud of this achievement than getting my BS in ME. Since it takes a while for my certification to be confirmed in Korea, I only just got my certification and ID yesterday; It felt amazing to finally hold them. Heck, you can now find me on Kukkiwon, the official organization that certifies WT black belts. Another thing I wanted to tell you about was the fact that I accepted a job a few months back at John Deere. I work as a mechanical engineer, the only issue is it’s in Iowa. So I’ve been constantly bored to death with nothing to do but stare at acres and acres of cornfields. But the one thing that’s keeping me going is my job. It’s actually quite fun, and I really enjoy the control I have over my projects. The only thing is, I've been feeling some serious imposter syndrome there. I just feel like I don’t belong. It’s times like that, that I wish I had you to reassure me, to motivate me. The last thing I wanted to tell you about was the fact that I’m now applying to a few master’s degree programs. I honestly don’t know why or what I’m doing. But part of the reason is that I wanted to re-experience college again. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been struggling to make new friendships. I’ve just felt so completely out of place with all the people that I’ve interacted with. So I want to give this a try to see if I can have a better college life and meet new people. Especially since I’ve always felt as if I spent more time on the phone with you than experiencing college. Another reason that I want to get a master's is actually legit, it’s that I really want to make a pivot to a more electrical/computer hardware role. So I decided to give this a random try.
Whelp, that's how I’ve been. I wish I could say I hope you are doing well too. But, I don’t really know. Half of me still hates you for everything that you’ve put me through. While the other half really just wants to talk to you. The other day when I was watching Marvel's Eternals, all I could think of was you. It really brought down my mood, to the point where I had to start using the punching bag in my basement to blow off some steam. It got so bad that I woke my neighbor up and he started cursing me because it was around 2 AM. And it was since that day, that I’ve felt like utter shit.
I’ve probably written 3 or 4 letters to you now that you will never see. I realized that putting my thoughts on paper really calms me down and helps me release all of my pent-up emotions. They’ve ranged from ones that curse you, ones that list out why I shouldn’t talk to you, ones that motivate me to accomplish some self-improvement goals, and ones that just say how much I miss you. Each time I tell myself this will be the last time, but it never really is. I’ve really struggled to move on from you. I think the reason I’m struggling so much is that I really did love you, and because I loved you so much I just can’t believe the way you’ve betrayed me. I really wish I could just forgive you, move on and forget, but I’ve really been struggling. Regardless though, I need to try one more time. Goodbye _____, and I sincerely hope this is the last time you affect my emotions so drastically. I probably should have done this a long time ago, but I’m only now deleting all the voicemails I had of you. I’m going over them one last time and officially wiping them out. So hopefully for the last time, goodbye _____. I wish you the best.
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2021.12.04 23:19 Kenobi271 Santa Fe, TX

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2021.12.04 23:19 cat-dip-crypto-nip No witness for a week? Not complaining as my miner is doing really well but its stuck on next step witness. Is that normal? No witness but im doing double what anyone around me is doing? If i witness will i do better? Is there something i can reset ?

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2021.12.04 23:19 iworkatabigcompany Confirmed by BitMart

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2021.12.04 23:19 rudethirteen I'll buy them all.

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2021.12.04 23:19 jeffries12309 Is there a way for me to adjust my brightness on my geekvape s100???

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2021.12.04 23:19 Eastern-Object34 Dumb(? question about calories

Hi everyone,
I started loosing weight like a month ago, so far I lost around 8 pounds. Basically doing exercise and counting calories. For my weight / exercise to loose 2.2 pounds I need to eat 1500ish calories per day. Now this is my question: Let's say 6/7 days I eat 1500. And day 7 I eat maintenance 2500 calories.
Does this f-ck up my diet harder than ok you loose weight 6 out of 7 days? Or a bit under 2.2 per week?
Tyvm!
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2021.12.04 23:19 Comfortable-Floor-92 someone here who felt the full benefits of this drug between 5-6 months?

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2021.12.04 23:19 Stonerfootboy Lemon Meringue & Lemon Skunk

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2021.12.04 23:19 Huhwhatumeanman Buying a land

Im interested in buying a land but it’s way too expensive. Would it be safe to take out a loan for like 20k$ and buy a land?
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2021.12.04 23:19 Cutiesf LPL 2021 finalised squads

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2021.12.04 23:19 ShortAlgo $FNK Waiting for Short signal on FNK with https://t.co/sxj8WuVZJB https://t.co/NmvyClKDAr

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2021.12.04 23:19 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Sports] - Josh Jacobs, Mark Ingram, Trae Young and more react to Alabama's SEC title | ESPN

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2021.12.04 23:19 jbm12312 Body image issues

Anyone else struggling with the weight gain that comes along with all this? I lost weight in 2016 and went from 212 lbs to 165. Then, COVID happened and I was at 190 when I got pregnant. For reference, I’m 5’6. I recently forced myself to get rid of my scale because I was becoming obsessed, but I think about my weight literally aaaaall the time. I hate it!
I know it’s a normal part of pregnancy to gain weight. I get it. But when you’ve struggled with weight management and body image issues your whole life, it’s hard to come to terms with it.
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2021.12.04 23:19 Waste_Article_9336 ;)

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2021.12.04 23:19 plants-rock Careers combining botany and conservation?

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2021.12.04 23:19 optic_cube Floor bbs

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2021.12.04 23:19 Retturub Im going to try and build the mishima dojo from tekken in the next world i'm in. any suggestions such as blocks, scale, and which variant of the mishima dojo?

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2021.12.04 23:19 listiller Gaming Lists Writer

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2021.12.04 23:19 ShortAlgo $AMPY Waiting for Buy signal on AMPY with https://t.co/sxj8WuVZJB https://t.co/22A8SlHDHl

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2021.12.04 23:19 Vis_Slwep Trading Spring20 and Light Halo

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2021.12.04 23:19 Own-Experience-8823 Belle found a stick and had a really great day! And she kept her doodle big sis in check…

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2021.12.04 23:19 BotherLoud Good subs for un-effing my mood?

Hey guys, so I have this issue with morbid curiosity lol. If I see a sub or post that I have a feeling might kind of mess me up (not the crazy gore stuff, just personal trauma stuff) I for some reason must click on it, and usually end up proving myself right. It's genius, really.
Well as a result of that I'm in need of some good pick-me-up subs. So far I generally use humansbeingbros and eyebleach but I could really use some new options.
Any recommendations for good subs? Thanks!
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2021.12.04 23:19 rokugo0512 整場山田虐 從開場就是山田虐

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